It’s easy for me to talk about managing stress. In fact, fifteen years after I conceived of the idea for It’s About Time I’m actually pretty good at it.
In the beginning this was supposed to be a stress management program for teachers. I called it DreamKeepers and enlisted 14 teachers to try it out. At one point, thanks to them, I realized that managing stress is really all about managing time. That realization came to me in a flash as I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror as I was hurrying out the door one day thinking “I don’t have enough time.”
What does that even mean?
I actually stopped … looked at myself in the mirror … and thought “Who do you think you are? You have 24/7 …. exactly like everyone else. Where do you get the idea that you should get any more time than anyone else?”
At that point I began thinking of DreamKeepers as a way to determine priorities. The “five minutes a day” I suggest in that program will work for anyone – not just teachers. I know. I haven’t taught school since 1998, and when I take those 5 minutes each day to follow my own advice, my life becomes far more manageable.
All of that said, I woke up at 1:30 AM this morning feeling like a fraud. I couldn’t stop wondering how I could talk about energy management when almost two months ago I walked away from the life I finally felt able to manage. This time I looked in an imaginary mirror and asked myself who I think I am to tell other people about managing their energy when it only took one phone call for me to give away all of my own.
That’s what has been on my mind for the past six hours. What occurs to me now is that the reason I was able to function so well through that time of crisis was that I may have finally learned what I’ve only been talking about for the past 15 years: The way to manage my energy, and in so doing manage my life, is to stay in the moment, focus on the “next right step,” and hold onto what it will feel like when I’m actually living in the reality of what I’m trying to accomplish.
As I’m writing this I’m thinking of the overused little maxim: “Today is the first day of the rest of my life.” Looking around I see the remnants of the life I left exactly 8 weeks ago. It’s all here – and it makes me think of the story of Hansel and Gretel. When they left home to go on their great adventure, they were wise enough to leave a a path of breadcrumbs. (I’ve always wondered why the birds didn’t eat the breadcrumbs – but I’m willing to suspend my disbelief in order to preserve the metaphor.)
Now I’m looking at the “breadcrumbs” I left and I realize that it’s actually going to be easy to catch up from where I left off. Some tasks or projects simply don’t need to be done – and I’m asking myself why I expend so much energy on things I feel I “must” or “should” do … especially over the holidays. Other things that loomed large in November for some reason look simple now. I’m going to have to give some thought to why that is … but it probably has a lot to do with priorities. And then there are the things that I was planning to do in December and January – like moving forward on my writing, remodeling our home, and getting to know our new neighbors.
Everything is still here and no one faults me for falling behind. So I’m going to resist the temptation to beat myself up about the tasks or projects that were left undone … and enjoy the fact that they are all still here … like breadcrumbs waiting to be followed back home.
